Thoughts from a Melancholic Mind
Welcome to my humble abode – I’m sorry I didn’t clean up more. Please forgive the pens on the floor and the lack of table space. I don’t normally have company – it takes a very special occasion for me to invite people over. Sorry, excuse me while I turn off that kettle. Make yourself at home and I’ll be back in a minute with chai and candied ginger.
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Hi, sorry, I should tell you a few things about myself. My alma mater taught me the nerd life, and now I’ll never know anything else. Wisdom is my goal, and I don’t pretend to have it yet at all. I’m just a girl on the journey, relying on some of my favorite authors, philosophers, and theologians to help me get there. I have more questions than answers, and some say I think too much. I’ve never been the kind of person to share my thoughts, but I thought I’d surprise myself and go for it. So this is my place for thinking, processing, discussing – a place where you can get inside my melancholic mind.
- In the CityThursday drive to see her againAugust rays, a hundred tenI was less distracted then–Heard from him, it’s been a whileLeave it behind just to see her smileIn my head, he’s at the top of the pile–Over-complicating mindAlone with her, left to unwindWhere are the words I’m bleeding to find–Unexpected guysAnd unexempted liesUninterested goodbyesBut I stillContinue reading “In the City”
- September SunI should have locked it awayShould’ve closed my mouthShould’ve had more doubtsThan already filled my brainBut my heart’s too strongCarried me alongSent me laps around locked barsI could see right throughCouldn’t get to youSweaty palms and pounding heartsHow much longer hereLeft to drown in fear–I once was almost positive about you‘Til I tested positive forContinue reading “September Sun”
- Prayer for TrustI promised myself I’d rest in YouTrust is simple to the tongueBut easily spoken is easily brokenHeaven help me, I’m so youngSo clearly did I see that visionWhen the occasion took the leadHardly a moment ’til my soul followedAccelerating at gravity’s speedNot all desire leads to sinSometimes it’s sacred, Your designPainted to reveal Your plansMyContinue reading “Prayer for Trust”
- Ray RoadRay RoadYou’ve got a lot of thoughts for meA childhood friend in the driver’s seatAn old CD with a steady beat Ray RoadIn a suburb that I’ve knownIt’s grown on me more as I’ve grownNow country boy calls it his own She doesn’t know ’bout himThe way he lived inside my headShe never saw theContinue reading “Ray Road”
- Trinitarian Thoughts in the Gospel of John“My teaching is not mine, but His who sent me” John 7:16 I’m amused by that first phrase spoken by Christ, “My teaching is not mine.” It seems contradictory – He uses the word ‘my’ just to immediately say it is not His. A similar contradiction is seen a few chapters later: “He who believesContinue reading “Trinitarian Thoughts in the Gospel of John”
- PolaroidLittle white photographHow much it holdsThat no one knowsFeelings untoldShe smiles like the sunBut let nuance revealThe glimpse you could stealIf you pull back the peelFrom the birth of the yearAt bedside it laysAnd it steals her gazeWith the rise of the raysHer new resolutionTo care for the heartThat was there from the startBefore sheContinue reading “Polaroid”
- IllusionSometimes a perfect visionTurns out an optical illusionSome seasons cause confusionAnd foresight can be bentI’m bruised from sacrificesDitching plans like they were vicesPaying the same pricesBut getting nothing from what I’ve spentCan I say what’s been said before?I just want to believe there’s moreAnd that hope will surviveAnd I’ll still be aliveAt the closeBut IContinue reading “Illusion”
- Beauty in Your Differences“Your differences are what make you beautiful.” You hear a bunch of things along these lines. It’s one of those things someone tells you, and then you give half a smile and walk away with the same insecurities, thinking they’re just being nice. Because it’s hard to really understand the goodness of your differences. MyContinue reading “Beauty in Your Differences”
- Melancholic MindForty past midnightPhrases crowding my mindLike headlinesToo quick to catchI guess this is what they meanWhen they say sometimes it’s hardTo know your own feelingsI watch the dots circle aroundThoughts loadingEmotions frozenSince I saw you were onAnd I remembered words from the pastI was fine before you sent themAnd maybe I still am nowOr maybeContinue reading “Melancholic Mind”
- TreadmillI’m stepping out to take this – reality hasn’t called in a whileThese four walls know me too well, and I’ve been in denialHow true are words on a screen when you can’t see the other side?Unmasking the precious ‘connection’ reveals a greater divideI’ve been in love with fantasies that might be true in partButContinue reading “Treadmill”
- Can We Attain Knowledge?This sounds like a dumb question, I know. But I have my reasons. Let’s look at the Meno, one of Plato’s dialogues. In this dialogue, Socrates and Meno attempt to define virtue with much difficulty. As Socrates states that he will continue to search for the definition, Meno questions his ability to do so. TheyContinue reading “Can We Attain Knowledge?”
- Broken BranchesLeft. Dirt collects in the ridge of my soleRight. I breathe in as my heel hits the groundLeft. One pace further from the desolate messRight. One pace closer to turning aroundLeft. What I did just as conflict crept inRight. What I thought I was, flaunting my prideLeft. But the beat of my feet on theContinue reading “Broken Branches”